Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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