I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize