no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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