i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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