Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
