dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
