id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize