just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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