It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
