i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I came so hard my ears popped.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
