I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
handjob tips. give me some.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
as a side note pls kill me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
