moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
