we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
