You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
