hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My feet surprised me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
