yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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