Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
