Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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