she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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