is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
