Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
