There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
