I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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