I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
