sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
