Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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