I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
