I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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