I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
