dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
