I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
