The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
