got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize