Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
