Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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