I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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