PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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