No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
