i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
