I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We left the knife in your bed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
