we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
