He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
