just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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