How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
God, you're like boner-b-gone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
