No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
