there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
