Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
