I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
