WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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