Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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