piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
