ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
