im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize