i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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