I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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