Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
