i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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