I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
FUCK WHALES
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