Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
