i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
