we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
