Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
