i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They took my balls.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
