I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
