She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
