I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
