Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
