why didn't you poke me back
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
