I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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