She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
